First things first, it is perfectly normal for couples to miss the spark after a certain point of time and seek help. You may be thinking, this wouldn’t happen to me, but the truth is it happens more than you think. The positive news is that you can actually work on your marriage and avoid divorce with some simple yet effective ways and gestures. Want to know how? Just read on!
Communication is Key:
Regardless of whether you and your spouse are happy, sad, or angry, communication is important. You cannot expect your partner to know what you feel if you don’t put it out on the table. Communicate with your partner openly about your feelings. That includes your interests, expectations, likes, and also about the things you dislike, frustrations, etc.
However, keep one thing in mind while communicating. Communicate with an intention to build your relationship and fix things, and not for winning an argument. Remember, you and your spouse are on the same team against the things that are affecting your marriage.
Also, communication doesn’t always mean using words and non-stop talking. Sometimes, your spouse may share with you their feelings and expect no solutions in return. They might simply want a listening heart and empathy. So, make sure you acknowledge your partner when they share the things that matter to them.
Physical intimacy does not only mean sex. The author of “First Comes Us: The Busy Couple’s Guide to Lasting Love,” Anita A. Chlipala, said that physical touch brings several advantages, including building attachment and trust between partners.
So, ask yourself, how often do you cuddle with your partner, hold hands or give them a peck on the cheek? Do you hug your spouse when they reach home? Or, do you simply rub their back when they’re down? All these gestures are small, but they go a long way in showing your affection towards your spouse. Such physical gestures are important for any relationship to thrive and bring partners closer to each other.
Give Some Space:
Giving each other some space is something most couples struggle with. Finding the perfect balance of spending the right amount of time apart and together can help a lot in strengthening your marriage.
This is another aspect where communicating with each other works. Feel free to say it when you need some alone time. And make your partner feel comfortable to do the same. Spending some time apart is equally important as spending quality time together.
Financial Expectations and Discussions:
Financial disagreement is one of the most common problems in marriages. In fact, according to a study conducted by Ramsey Solutions, money-related arguments are the second leading cause of a divorce, the first one being infidelity.
Your spouse may have different expectations and opinions when it comes to money. Hence, make sure you communicate about it. Discuss your budget and how you’d want to go about spending the monthly earnings. If you have debts, make sure you let your partner know and make a strategic plan to pay them off.
There is great power in acceptance. Remember, you and your spouse are two distinct individuals first. Hence, you are bound to have differences in interests, habits, likes, tastes, etc. That’s what makes people unique and different from each other. Hence, you shouldn’t expect your partner to behave or feel exactly like you.
You may be very particular about time. On the other hand, your partner is always late. Your partner is a cleanliness freak, but you, on the other hand, maybe messy. All these things are part and parcel of an individual’s lifestyle and personality. Hence, try to work on things that can be fixed. But also know that unlearning such habits takes time, and sometimes, your partner might never learn. Therefore, for the things you cannot change, learn to accept them the way they are. Because that’s what you’d expect from your partner as well – accepting you just the way you are!